2 de octubre de 2012

Living Together

I really dislike when people pretend that living together is nothing or that you should be "mature" enough so you know how to do it. Whoever thought that once married, the living together part was just pan comido, clearly never even tried to live with someone.

I'm writting this post because I'm 26 years old- and this is the second time I'm living with someone, as in a relationship. Some people think that I'm too young to know about this "adult" stuff and it irritates me when they say it out loud (If you know me a little, you can picture my face when someone says something I dislike.) and I'm also writing this for the newbies or my fellow friends who are thinking about moving with their better half.

If you are still questioning if jumping or not, I must tell you: DO IT! Living with someone else is a skill that you learn how to dominate with time and practice. It's not like you were living alone or with friends (worse case scenario with your parents) and then moved with the love of your life and you lived happily ever after, like in the movies. Well, hellooo, NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

This is the real life. We are real people. We are selfish human beings that -do not even dare to deny it- we always put our self-care-self-interest-self-whatever- in front of the others (except children, from what I've heard). Yes, yes, bible, religion, bad advice and some ingenuous people say we shouldn't, but be honest with yourslef. I love my boyfriend, but in the moment he does somehting that harms my interests in life or myself, I won't stay. And that's how it should be.

We are a sensitive breed that cries everytime someone steps on our tail. So here is some advice, or things I've learned, or... you name it.

Lesson 1. Practice
If you are in love or really like someone, and think that moving in together would be fun, then do it. You don't have to get married with that person, nor sign a marital contract or any kind of official document that scares you (I'm mostly talking to you, men). Just talk about what it means to you both and what you would like for the relationship. There's nothing worse than not knowing. And if at the end it didn't work, at least you tried the experience. I almost certainly can say that most divorces are caused by the lack of experience (in every way).

Lesson 2. Teach and Learn
Yes, you have to teach the other person how you like things. If you think that they are going to call your mom or your friends to ask about you, or just figure it out themselves, you are WRONG. You NEED to let the other half know what you want, like and expect. Otherwise the better half will become the worse half.

However, not everything has to be said. Learn the other person's bad moments and don't bother. Learn what's the best way to ask for things and get results. Learn how to use the best moments to talk about uncomfortable things... learn.

Lesson 3. Don't behave like you live with your parents
If you take a shower and put the towel on the bed, and then the bed is wet and the towel smells like BO, then you are in trouble, and you should have known. Wash the dishes you use. Help around the house. Do the laundry. Divide home works. Have sex out of the bed. Remember to close the curtains. Sh**

Lesson 4. Make sure to have a time-off space
Sometimes you fight. Sometimes you fight to the point you can't leave the house but you can't see the other person's face. For those moments, make sure that you have another space in the house where you don't have to breathe the same air as the other. That helps to think, relax, breathe deeply and come back for make-up sex.

Lesson 5. If possible, have a second bathroom
No need further explanaition. Second bathrooms are the best.

Lesson 6. Be Patient
This has taken me the most part of my learning time. Patience is not my ally, but I'm getting there. The good thing about living with humans instead of animals, is that humas learn (great, huh?). So be patient with your partner, everything takes time. At the beginning might be hard, specially if you are from two very different cultures and know little about the other one, but it has its rewards and it worth it.

Lessons 7. Bonuxxx track
Living with the other one gives you the freedom to have sex anywhere in the house and fall asleep after it, without having to worry about going back to your place or bringing more close and a toothbrush.

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